Dreams and such things.

This is I think overdue! I have in my lifetime met a lot of people who have spoken about their passions with such magic in their eyes that it has moved me physically. Nothing, I repeat nothing is more beautiful than a person whose eyes are filled with dreams ready to be conquered. I for one have had a lot of dreams. I think I owe it to myself to finally write about them.Or at least the one that came true.

My dreams started as a young kid whose father was a pilot in the Indian Air Force. Nothing fascinated me more than my father. Being a daddy’s girl like most of the other girls out there, I used to feel inspired every time I used to look at him in his uniform. I wanted to be like him in every way possible. The way he talked the way he walked. And to a certain limit I succeeded. I used to look at every plane that flew over me claiming that my dad was flying it and waved it a goodbye. Little did I know then that my dad was actually a helicopter pilot. But such was my innocence. If people asked what I wanted to be, I would proudly claim my dad.

Then one fine day, thanks to the Indian film industry I found a new dream. I wanted to be Karishma Kapoor. Why you ask me? Dil Toh Pagal Hai had just released and the way she danced had me mesmerized. I was maybe 10 or 11 years of age and I recently had learned up the word choreographer. Without really knowing what it meant, the complicity of the word had me stuck up on it. I would proudly claim. I want to be a choreographer when i grow up. I learned up the entire routine for each and every song from that movie and had showed it off at every function possible. Now that i look back at the videos I realize I really sucked at it, but anything a kid does no sorry, anything anybody does with passion and innocence brings upon  such joy that you forget the stupidity of it and start to appreciate it. With everyone giving me more appreciation that was required I found a new love in dancing. But it stopped there. A passion.

Life happened, new dreams were made. And eventually checked out. Class 10th exams finally got over and I had 3 months to do nothing. I decided to join dance classes and pass my time. The Danceworx. While everybody wanted to join Shaimak i wanted to dance on english songs for thumkas and bollywood wasn't my style. Jazz seemed much cooler anyways. My first day of class. I saw my instructor Chandni. She was everything i had ever wanted to be. Smart beautiful and confident. These classes kept happening and my love for dance kept increasing. The workshop ended i enrolled for normal classes. Then something happened that i never in my wildest dreams thought would be possible. Chandni asked me to join probation. Yeah i was as dumbstruck as you probably are now. What the hell is probation. It was a training program to become an instructor. From there things just kept happening. I gave auditions, cleared them started dancing 50 hours in a month. Met amazing people like Tanya Sodhi who had me mesmerized. Saniya Jaiswal, Tanya Rai, Ruth, Palkin and a lot of others who danced with me. It became my world. I needed nothing else. I was this kid high on adrenalin who just kept going and going and going. I had the opportunity to work with the best people ever. Srishti Jain who mentored me. Ammith Kumar who helped through my worse. He was the one who discovered the choreographer in me. He was the one who constantly pushed my to bring out my emotions. I don't like to speak about them. He forced me to express them through dance and I am eternally grateful. I found something that I finally wanted to live for. Choreography. I found peace and solace in it. I found my emotions in it. I found freedom in it. I found love in it. Everything i choreographed came

from the deepest recesses of my mind and soul. I started believing in myself again. I started believing in the world again. Finally everything around me made sense. I loved dancing but I loved choreographing more. When i choreographed, it all made sense. I felt whole. When I saw people dance what I felt, it moved me. When I saw someone dance what I created, it inspired me. When people got inspired by what I created, it grounded me. I don't know how to express what i felt because those moments were the ones that kept me going.
I found something more in Danceworx. I found a family. I spent all my time with them doing something i loved. I came into the company, I fought, I cried, I laughed, I learned. I got injured I got pissed i got irritated. I fell in love. I got heartbroken. All these memories that i have with me are precious. But most of all I lived my dream. For whatever short period I did, I lived it. Who would have thought something I said when i was 10 just because the word seemed so cool would come to be true.Who would have thought that Karishma Kapoor would probably lead me to my dream? I certainly did not. I do miss dancing but i don't regret anything that I did. For whatever moments that i lived my dream I am grateful. I wanted to inspire people. And when people come and tell me how much my work has meant to them, I guess it's something I can live on for the rest of life.