Taara.

Terror captivated those eyes which once shone with the utmost love and spark. Never had I seen such sadness and fear in them. For me these were the eyes of my Dai Maa. The one who always kept me safe and whose embrace was more comforting than my own mothers womb. Her hands guided me better than the light and her smile instilled warmth in me in the coldest of nights. Her eyes were filled with such immense terror that it scared me. Though I had no idea why there was a havoc outside in the house, It still made me sit still, something I wasn't accustomed to at all.
"Its another girl." somebody had screamed before.I for one always wanted a baby sister to play with. I was always confined to my room and Dai Maa was the only living human who came to play with me. But after 7 she also left me in the dark to be by myself. My mother always told me, this alone time was to be used in praying to a god to eliminate myself from all impurities and sins. I had once asked her what were my sins to which she never replied. But Dai Maa had secretly told me that I was the purest of all and did not need any cleansing. I was to pray but not for I had committed some sins, I was to pray for the well being of everyone around me. I was to bring happiness to this house.
I was glad it was a girl. A boy would have had more strength than me and would have beaten me up. Like father did. My mother never reverted back and I know it is because she can't win the game. Ever. Father is more powerful. Then why does she play with him? I did not want a brother. I was happy and content with a baby sister. But looking at Dai Maa's eyes, I submerged my happiness inside of myself and stood still. I suddenly heard somebody screaming. I recognized the voice. Mother needed me. I wanted to run outside and help her. What if there was a snake? Mother was particularly scared of snakes. But Dai Maa did not let me go. She held me tight. Her dead eyes looked deep inside me. She told me to go sit by my window and close my ears. How could she do that? My mother had needed my help but she would let me out. I being the rebel I was started screaming and howling. My screams were overpowered by my mothers shrieks. Dai Maa's hold captivated me. This went on for quite some time. Eventually I got tired and gave up. I think even my mother got tired for her voice was heard no more. I wanted to run to my mother and see if she was okay. But more than that I wanted to see my baby sister. I wanted to name her Taara. Like stars she would also now become my companion in solitude. I had once told my mother that if I get a baby sister I would name her Taara. She shut me up. Told me to go pray for my sins. I eventually fell asleep.
That night still haunts me like my own shadow. My husband comes in ecstatic. He asks me what I want to name my daughter? There is only one name that resonates in my head. A name that dug a scar so deep that no matter how much I try to run away from it, It calls out to me. I never saw my mother again. Dai Maa wasn't the same. The  little baby sister I was expecting not there. I thought mother had taken her with her. But I saw neither of them again. I grew up with stars as my companions. One day Dai Maa came into my room crying and agitated. She looked at me, anorexic and petite. Lonely and motherless. She packed me a bag of clothes and some food. Then she gave me some money that she told me she had been saving for this day. She gave me a number. She told me to run away and call this number as soon as I saw a phone. I asked her if she was coming. She said no and with that left me.
"Taara. I want to name her Taara."
I ran away. My dog kallu followed me. He like me led a lonely life in that haveli. He came with my fathers second wife. But he soon found love in me. He ran away with me leaving behind the devastating tracks. He kept going round and round as if trying desperately hard not to leave a trail behind. I found a phone, I called up that number. That day my life changed. I got myself educated,I started working and earning for myself, I fell in love with a man who was as strong as my father but never hit me. He instead used his strength to support me and love me. I got married. And now I have a daughter named Taara.
But some scars are forever. That night dug so deep into my conscience that  it inevitably became a part of who I am. That night still haunts me. My screams overpowered by my mothers, I fail to let go or forgive myself for not being able to save her and my baby sister from the snake.